I’ve documented the times I’ve been depressed, not all but most of them. I didn’t document the other times I’ve cut myself, I didn’t document other times I’ve been depressed.
Right now, I am. I’m depressed, I have been for the last 1 or 2 hours.
I started to think about that something that was my life for months and then it vanished. Turned into a stranger, and that made me sad. It made me feel incomplete in many way. I spent the first 2 weeks being like “Whatever, I don’t care. I wont cry” and then it hit me today. It hit me how much of my life was centered around one person and then in a blink of an eye.. Its gone. That person I pretty much loved with everything I had.. Left.
Left without a reason, and the best thing I thought was to do was to just block them out my life completely, and now that person is a stranger to me.
I’ve reached the point of not even trying anymore, there’s no point in being here when life is a huge disappointment.
Grow up and get married, have a career and a family is what my mum always said. But something’s in life stops us from having that scenario.
Its sad to say that I don’t care for life anymore, I don’t care about growing up to live that scenario. I will never be the person I want to be because everything stops me. I used to depend on someone for my happiness. That happiness is gone and so is that person.
Anonymous blogger, signing out xxx