Hey, it’s a Rant!

This post is going to go one of two ways..

1. I’ll rant on about how shit my life is..

2. I’ll do a mild version of feeling a severe emptiness deep down and not caring about how much I don’t give a fuck about anything.

Because that’s all I do, started as a way of helping people now this blog triggers everyone because of how depressing it is.

No fucking surprise though, so what’s going on A? Are you having a mental breakdown again? You seem angry..

Okay, I am angry.. At myself.
I went into a spiral of disappointment and frustration.
Disappointed at my blog and how it has turned out, frustrated at how I’m literally so sensitive that one thing that is so insignificant could sent my mental health flying.

I hate myself for how I could see a fucking piece of shit on the floor and feel sad about how alone it is.. Like why the fuck are you so sensitive? Stop being like that, you’re literally the piece of shit.

Oh that person wrote a few words and now you’re sad that your friendship is going downhill, like girl get a fucking grip.

I can’t even go a day without feeling like that, I always need constant reassurance that they still like me and don’t hate me.. But then again I think they’re lying.. Honestly good luck to all of my friends.. You are amazing for wanting to put up with all of this.

I can’t even stand myself for most of the time, that’s why I sit down most of the time…….. I know.. I facepalmed too.
I make great jokes.. Not really, they’re pretty atrocious.

Anyway, you’ve had your dose of insanity for today so I’ll go now.

Anonymous blogger, signing out xxx

Not Really Liked.

Hello. Okay, I want to be completely honest. I feel like I’m not that liked in the blogging world, this isn’t for attention.. This is literally just me saying how I feel.. And that’s genuinely how I feel.

Maybe I’m just too outspoken, and people don’t like that.. I’m not as sweet, supportive and caring as Elm I’m not funny and witty like L.
I say what’s on my mind and I guess that’s not okay.
I’ll share my depressed moments a lot more then others because that’s apart of my day and my if I show all the good part then it portrays that my life has no bad parts, which there completely are.

My point is, this blog is real and tells the truth.. With no bullshit inbetween.

I can sort of understand why I’m not that liked now..

Anonymous blogger, signing out xxx

A Peculiar Love Story 💙

LifeasMelanie

Hello Readers!
It’s Mel, and today I want to tell a story. Its a peculiar love story…

There was a boy, he was being flooded with problem.. Abuse, low mental health and was overall in a bad state. He bottled it up for so long, but on one Saturday afternoon.. He met a girl. She was just getting over a heartbreak when they met.. They talked for hours and hours, but the only problem is.. They lived what seemed like a world apart.

After just the first conversation, they fell for each other.. He wanted her and she wanted him but it was kept quiet.. Weeks went by and they were still talking.. About everything. They opened up to each other and trust was gained.. Finally the feeling came out and after a few days they were together.. Happier then ever.
No one knew, they kept it from their friends…

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Looking Back

I’m a blogger who doesn’t fit into a category, I’ve been here for 2 years, yet I haven’t really settled down into a particular category.. And I’m okay with that.
I do a variety of things;
Deep chats
Makeup
Fashion
Mental health
I’m not restricted to one thing, and that’s what I love about my blog. It may be negative sometimes but it still shares my most happiest moments. You’ve seen so much; breakups, the start of college, end of school.. And the list goes on.

I’ve been through milestones, I actually remember walking to school ringing one of my friends and being so happy I hit 100 followers. I remember the 1 year post.. The two year post I did in March.

I still remember my first follower, she taught me how to blog basically and I was grateful for that. I remember being so new to this, its been such a long journey that I wouldn’t trade for anything.

I used to check my stats regularly, now I honestly have no clue about how many followers I have. Who checks how many followers they have?

Even though its been two years, I have not once met someone who goes to my college or school that blogs like me. That’s still my goal..

Anyways, thank you for reading. I’ll talk to you guys soon.

Anonymous blogger, signing out xxx

People I Appreciate

 

Hellooo people, welcome back to my blog.. Or welcome to my blog which ever one it is, I’m glad you stopped by.

Anyway, today as you can tell by the title, I want to just talk about the people who I appreciate so much.

1. Dani
Dani is one of my closest and bestest friends, she is so caring and so amazing. I’ve known her from basically the start and only this year have we become so close. Definitely check her and Lyss’ blog out, it’s amazing.

2.  If you’ve read my post called ‘Ramble’ you’d know I made a friend, and we instantly connected. For the last, I believe nearly a month we have become quite close. He knows about my blog, which is a huge thing for me to tell anyone. He’s a really great person, very caring and an idiot.. But a good, funny type of idiot, if that makes any sense.

3. My best friend.
She’s also a fucking idiot.. Yesterday went and had a whole feast at the back of Asda on a wall.. (It was delicious though). I’ve know her for so long, and I love her 💙

These three people are key priorities in my life, they’re three amazing friends I’m happy to have.
Thank you.

Anonymous blogger, signing out xxx

 

Okay.

I told myself I shouldn’t make any of these posts again, but here I am.. Mid breakdown, writing another post about it.

Earlier today I was ecstatic, excited and I was so happy but as the hours went by, I felt less and less happy. And now, I’m back to feeling like I always do.. Sad. Depressed and just overall shitty.

On top of the fact that I feel like I’m losing everyone, it’s causing a breakdown, I’ve already lost all my blogger friends and to lose in real life friends would put a massive strain on my mental health.

I’m so stressed and just really not okay, I dont know what else to say then that.

I guess ill speak to you guys another time.

Anonymous blogger, signing out xxx

Dear Your Broken Heart

You don’t know who can walk into your life and change it so significantly that it’s unfathomable, that person that walked out of your life did the right thing.

That person can walk out that door without the slightest bit of sadness and that’s honestly great. Sadness is defined an emotional pain, and if leaving caused them none of that then, you shouldn’t feel hurt.

They left without hesitation, and you felt deeply saddened by that. Maybe that person was so special and close to you, maybe that person changed you in ways you felt like you couldn’t do on your own but as I said at the start, people can walk in your life and change it so significantly.

There will always be someone else that unexpectedly walks in your life, that person could become something you cherish more then life itself.
A friendship so remarkable could blossom, or even a relationship that could spark a time you never want to forget.
It’s takes time to heal from a wound, and even more for a broken heart.

Anonymous blogger, signing out xxx

No Title

Lately, I’ve come to realise that I’m not good enough, for anything at all. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking “Stop asking for attention A”.
I’m sure a lot of you, if not all of you think that. Maybe my posts are just boring you because its the same thing over and over again, maybe you’re only here when I’m happy because me being like is making you unhappy.

With that being said, me being depressed the majority of the time is causing my friendships with people to weaken and some to even crumble apart. I don’t know what to do about that, sometimes I think that disconnecting myself with everyone will make all my problems go away. I’ll slowly fade out of everyone’s life and then eventually be forgotten and I’ll be on my own.
Being on my own will make me less stressed on whether everyone likes me or not. I won’t have to constantly be happy to keep a friendship strong, and that then reducing the chances of them leaving.

Its not healthy to think this, nor do I really have anyone to talk to this about so that’s why I post it on my blog.

I just don’t feel okay.

Anonymous blogger, signing out xxx

Secret Out

Hey guys, welcome back to my blog. I’m back. If you didn’t know I went on a break because that’s what bloggers do from time to time, it usually doesn’t last long for me anyway.

So.. I let one of my great friends know about this secret, my blog. For the first time in forever (I finally understand.. Frozen reference, get it..Ha.ha) I actually wasn’t that scared to just give him the link to my blog, you all know that my blog is where I am completely care free and zero fucks are given, and to give someone access to my blog life is exciting and scary.
This is where I share all those tiny secrets and I just realised all my secrets are on here.. That really serious post, remember that? And all my depressing posts with a rare mixture of happy.

Yeah, I know im depressing.. This is all the stuff I dont tell alot people.
I swear if everyone I know knew about my blog, no one would ever want to talk to me again. I can be brutally honest but then again im a soppy weirdo so its even.

I’ll go now since I need to contemplate life and search for the meaning of everyone’s existence.

See you soon.
Anonymous blogger,signing out xxx