I might as well just talk about everything in this post, no matter how personal or boring it is. It’s properly about time.
First let’s get what I believe is the boring stuff out the way. I’ve been working out everyday for a while now and it’s been good. Some days are worse then others because it’s like; 90 squats, 30 push ups, 45 second plank.. which I absolutely hate because it’s painful however I’ve done it for over 2 minutes before so it’s not impossible for me to do it for 45 seconds. I have rest days which is literally heaven to me. I don’t see a difference yet physically but mentally I do. I’m sort of at peace with my body issues. I’m not sure if I’ve ever addressed it but if you didn’t know now you know, I just hated how some parts of my body look.. my arms and legs are basically it. I’m working in it with my workouts.
Whilst that’s out the way, might as well get personal. I posted about bottling things which until late hasn’t been an issue. I get mad at myself when I tell people what’s sort of going on, I don’t ever want sympathy. I hate sympathy, don’t give me sympathy. I’ve tried to be one of those really brick walled people, basically show no emotion and be really strong. When I tell people about stuff like mental stuff, I feel weak and then I get mad at myself for opening up. I don’t know, it’s weird yet makes complete sense to me. I’ve opened up wayyy to much this year already and I’m stopping myself from doing that.
Another thing is, which I’m never said at all before, is that I kind of like someone… before all you and make your predictions.. don’t. Don’t say who you think it is, or ask me if it’s right. Wow, I’m defensive today😂 but seriously, just don’t bother. It will really piss me off. So that’s been on my mind for a while. Let’s just go to a different subject. I’m already getting mad at myself for saying that.. do you see what I mean? Any bit of opening up, I get mad at myself. It’s pathetic. I have issues.. but you have them too. Are those the lyrics? I have no idea 😂
Well, I’ve opened up enough. So.. I’m just going to head to the door. Thank you for being here, and reading this crap. Please also don’t leave sympathy. I really don’t need it.
Anonymous blogger, signing out xxx