Posts I Didn’t Finish

If I didn’t have a boring life these posts would be fun and entertaining but no. I’m right now, sat in bed with cramps. Isn’t that just sooo interesting.

Anyway, hello. I was looking through the notes on my phone, a lot of my notes are posts I started to write but gave up on.
So, without further or do, here’s the posts.

1. Heyyy guys! Welcome back to this thing I call a blog. Im sorry if im too sassy and I dont make sense.. Im hyper. I’ve had an Easter egg today.. And that’s a lot of chocolate that my brain can’t handle.

Okay, that not the reason im making a post I wanted to about friendships and relationships because these two things I actually think about more than I should.

Ill talk about them separately then together.


The majority of people have been in relationships, and I have serious respect for people who haven’t yet. I’ve been in a fair few and all except one.

Everything goes fucking wrong. My veins say “XII” which is 13. That just proves I’m bad luck.
So, you’re proberly wondering “What the fuck is the point of this post?”
Well, I thought why not make this the most honest post ever.

I used to like my body, I didn’t think anything was wrong until I noticed my arms. I hate my arms. Then I noticed my legs. I hate them. I hate my fucking body. I don’t like having my arms exposed because I feel ugly and stupid.

I don’t eat enough, and when I do it takes me hours to eat. Eating isn’t something I like really.

Hello. Doesn’t life just scare you sometimes? It scares me.. a lot. Im not sure if this post will be a trigger or not.. I will be talking about death, depression and all the things I think about on a daily basis.

I’m quite a mentally unstable person, I’m not happy all the time.. things trigger and then I got into a state of im so depressed and everyone hates and I should just go and cut and die and everyone would be happy then.. I basically just summed up what I think about when im depressed.

However, there are times when im really happy, when you catch me on my good days.. well done because they are getting rare. This depressing stage has like taken over my life ( out to the person who will know why im laughing at that) anywayyy, negative thoughts rule my life and I wish I could just tell it to get the fuck out my life for good. Its like that ex boyfriend who keeps on coming back or ex girlfriend.. us girls do that too… They treat you like utter crap yet you let them back in because they said they’ve changed… Yeah right, you’re just going to fuck up my life even more… I’m not even talking about anyone in particular 😂 .. You all know what I mean..right?

I do want to talk about relationships more at some point because im totally experienced.. Im really not.. I barely know how to tie my shoes let alone know anything about relationships.. I mean, I’ve had relationships but.. I need to shut up and stop changing subject.

Basically what im trying to say is… My mental health screws up my life.. and my arm.. Yes the self harm. I’m seeing two councillors.. None of them help, its just strategy after strategy.
My other councillor is a bit better than the other one. However he gets way more in depth and im not so comfortable with that, it also doesn’t help that one of them basically said “You’re a pretty girl and having scars on your body won’t..



I’ll stop there, these post I never finished for one reason or another. I’ll speak to you all another time.

Anonymous blogger, signing out xxx


Hey, it’s a Rant!

This post is going to go one of two ways..

1. I’ll rant on about how shit my life is..

2. I’ll do a mild version of feeling a severe emptiness deep down and not caring about how much I don’t give a fuck about anything.

Because that’s all I do, started as a way of helping people now this blog triggers everyone because of how depressing it is.

No fucking surprise though, so what’s going on A? Are you having a mental breakdown again? You seem angry..

Okay, I am angry.. At myself.
I went into a spiral of disappointment and frustration.
Disappointed at my blog and how it has turned out, frustrated at how I’m literally so sensitive that one thing that is so insignificant could sent my mental health flying.

I hate myself for how I could see a fucking piece of shit on the floor and feel sad about how alone it is.. Like why the fuck are you so sensitive? Stop being like that, you’re literally the piece of shit.

Oh that person wrote a few words and now you’re sad that your friendship is going downhill, like girl get a fucking grip.

I can’t even go a day without feeling like that, I always need constant reassurance that they still like me and don’t hate me.. But then again I think they’re lying.. Honestly good luck to all of my friends.. You are amazing for wanting to put up with all of this.

I can’t even stand myself for most of the time, that’s why I sit down most of the time…….. I know.. I facepalmed too.
I make great jokes.. Not really, they’re pretty atrocious.

Anyway, you’ve had your dose of insanity for today so I’ll go now.

Anonymous blogger, signing out xxx

Not Really Liked.

Hello. Okay, I want to be completely honest. I feel like I’m not that liked in the blogging world, this isn’t for attention.. This is literally just me saying how I feel.. And that’s genuinely how I feel.

Maybe I’m just too outspoken, and people don’t like that.. I’m not as sweet, supportive and caring as Elm I’m not funny and witty like L.
I say what’s on my mind and I guess that’s not okay.
I’ll share my depressed moments a lot more then others because that’s apart of my day and my if I show all the good part then it portrays that my life has no bad parts, which there completely are.

My point is, this blog is real and tells the truth.. With no bullshit inbetween.

I can sort of understand why I’m not that liked now..

Anonymous blogger, signing out xxx

No Title

Lately, I’ve come to realise that I’m not good enough, for anything at all. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking “Stop asking for attention A”.
I’m sure a lot of you, if not all of you think that. Maybe my posts are just boring you because its the same thing over and over again, maybe you’re only here when I’m happy because me being like is making you unhappy.

With that being said, me being depressed the majority of the time is causing my friendships with people to weaken and some to even crumble apart. I don’t know what to do about that, sometimes I think that disconnecting myself with everyone will make all my problems go away. I’ll slowly fade out of everyone’s life and then eventually be forgotten and I’ll be on my own.
Being on my own will make me less stressed on whether everyone likes me or not. I won’t have to constantly be happy to keep a friendship strong, and that then reducing the chances of them leaving.

Its not healthy to think this, nor do I really have anyone to talk to this about so that’s why I post it on my blog.

I just don’t feel okay.

Anonymous blogger, signing out xxx

Update Time

Hey everyone, welcome back to my blog. Update time!

So, what’s new? Well, lets start with the fact that my course is nearly ending. I know I won’t see them ever again which is good and bad but I’ve made a few friends in the course and that’s sad to move on from. But, I am going to another course which I have an interview tomorrow, if you follow me on Twitter you will know that (shameless promo, go follow me @lifeas_a)
Anyway, I’m really nervous and worried about the interview, I told my teacher I was nervous and worried and he thought it was because I wasn’t going to get in… No. I’m nervous because its new people. And people scare me.
I’m sure once its over I’ll think that the build up was way worse then the actual interview. I also haven’t told my mother about it, which I really should. I’ll update you guys on Twitter once it’s done.

In other news, I want to talk about Youtube because I’ve kind of changed who im watching. Just a note, I have watched this people before but not constantly.
So, the first once I’ve been watching more then usual is Lilly Singh (iiSuperwomenii).
Everyone must know her because she is literally amazing. My favourite video is actually her ‘If Youtube were Bollywood’. I’ve actually watched that on repeat.

The other Youtuber I’ve been watching quite a lot is Fouseytube (Yousef). Oh my god. He is actually so fucking amazing. He is.. First of really attractive, and makes entertaining videos.

And then there as the other Youtubers I’ve been watching like;
Liza Koshy
The Gabbie Show
David Dobrik

Another update is that I got my hair cut again, is now a long bob… HAHA BOB. I will have to at some point explain why im laughing at that. I’ll explain at the end of the post, prepared to weirded out.

Anyway, that’s all for now. Ill see you guys soon.

Anonymous blogger, signing out xxx

(Okay, so why am I laughing at that? Well, its really weird but sometimes (actually quite often) I draw a moustache on and really thick eyebrows and walk around saying “Hi, im Bob and I’m a engineer”.
I’m really weird, okay)

What I Got For Christmas 2016

Hello everybody, welcome back to my blog and today I will be doing a post I’ve been meaning to do which is the ‘What I Got For Christmas 2016’. The reason I have been putting this off is because I have been really busy sorting out posts which you will later on see.

I would just also like to note some of these images are from google and another website because I wanted these photos to look pretty but the background I used for some of them wasn’t large enough for some items. That’s enough rambling so lets get on with this post.

The first photos I want to start with are photos I took and I’m pretty proud of.

The first thing I got was some make up. The brand I received was Makeup Revolution which I believe is just sold in the UK and very affordable.

371987cd-a4a7-4bf4-bdde-f8f6228ff550This is a lip palette which I have used and enjoyed, they do feel matte after a while though.
Next, this is a contour palette which the middle one (its a concealer) I have already hit pan on which makes me think that it doesn’t have much product in it. I think this contour kit is most suitable for fair skin because of how light the concealer is and how quite light the contour shade is.

This product is one of my favourites, this is a eyeshadow palette which is called ‘ Redemption’. This palette has a the most pigmented black I’ve ever seen, also the colours have a variety of matte and shimmery shades. But one thing I do want to point out is that the darker shades (apart from the black) look very different in the pan then they are swatched but they are very beautiful.

The photo just says it. I love the golden shade! It is such a gorgeous shade and very light reflected. I would say this suits more to tanned skin which I don’t have but still a great highlight. The pink shade isn’t that great, I haven’t used it before because I have other pink highlighters than I haven’t even hit pan on yet.
I’m really sorry that this is out of focus but  I don’t wake up when there sun outside so there’s no chance ill get another photo.

This is a eyebrow kit, which has three eyebrow shades which if you have dark hair none of these shades will match you. The last clear/white is a wax which I believe you put on after you put on the brow colour. Now, ill be honest the golden shade I’m not sure where I put it. I believe it is a highlighter that is applied on your brow bone, I will say one thing but that is the most blinding highlight I’ve ever seen and it is a cream which could last longer.

Next, we have some brushes, one of them is limited edition. Before I took this photo I did use it which is why its dirty, when its clean its white. I do like these brushes but I don’t use them that offer, the middle one I use the most. Overall, they are good quality and look really neat.

This one, is quite boring. They are plan shoes and they are a size 4. They’re alright bit since they are new that hurt my heel.


That’s all for the photos I took, the next items ill show is clothing.

This is a two piece panda pyjamas. I will put out something, you see those ears. Those are actually pom-poms  and are placed in the absolute worst place possible.
Also, the photo shows the panda quite high up, its not that high up. I do like this, but the pom-poms are a bit.. You know.
P.S – It is really comfortable.


This jumper is so cosy, however it is so easy to rip. I recommend not stretching this jumper but if you do, just try and get it stitched back up.


This shirt is quite nice, its not really anything special but it is comfortable to wear but it does show off your figure.


That’s all the clothes I got, next lets show electronics.The first electronic is a Kindle Fire which I am really enjoying but I refuse to blog on it because its linked with my mums account.

3413f1e8-2289-4a5e-b511-07d7ed0f91e9The next electronic item I got was a phone! This is the Nokia Lumia 1020 which apparently has amazing camera quality which you can judge because the photos I took were taken on that phone.

Its pretty good but the WordPress app on there is pretty terrible. But, that doesn’t bother me too much.
That’s all that I got for Christmas, this post was quite long but it was kind of a 2-1, a review and a show and tell.

I hope you enjoyed this post, this post is quite 2016 me but this is a one off, expect more exciting posts soon.
I’ll see you soon with another post.

Anonymous blogger, signing out xxx

Body Confidence

Hello everybody, welcome back to my blog! If you have been here for a while you may have read my insecurities post. At the time of that post I was very insecure but over time those insecurities have faded away.
I wouldn’t say I’m 100% happy with my body, but who is?
You may be really young with so many insecurities but as time goes by those insecurities became something that doesn’t faze you.
Hey, I used to be insecure about my teeth, my eye, my belly… ect.
Why those things? Well, lets start with my belly region. I’m skinny. When I stretch you can see my ribs, and to me that is horrifying. I eat a lot of crap but it doesn’t effect my width. Now, I don’t care. So what that I cant gain weight easily.

Okay, next on the list is my eye. Only one eye, I was born with one of my eyes turned slightly inwards and it especially shows when I’m tired. But now, how cares? I don’t.

Next, is my teeth. Honestly, my teeth bothered me for the longest time. I’m not perfect in anyway and I’m definitely not going to pretend like it us.
Now, I make weird faces and love it.

There is one thing that I love to do, but some people hate that part if there body.
I love my double chin, well I don’t techniqually have one but I do love to show it.
I can make some great faces with that double chin.

I’m proud of my body, of how weird and unique it is. Everyone judges everyone for how they look. If you see that one person who just judges everyone… Get that double chin out and make faces at them. I would do that.

At my college, everyone in my course has had sex. I haven’t and I feel really insecure that I haven’t. But then I think about it… I’m only 16! I shouldn’t be doing those things so early. Yes I’m legal to but doesn’t mean I should.

I’m happy with who I am, and you should be too.

And with the post coming to an end, I would just like to say. I love you all very much and ill see you again soon.

Anonymous blogger signing out xxx