Personal, Boring and Whatever Shit I Have To Say

I might as well just talk about everything in this post, no matter how personal or boring it is. It’s properly about time.

First let’s get what I believe is the boring stuff out the way. I’ve been working out everyday for a while now and it’s been good. Some days are worse then others because it’s like; 90 squats, 30 push ups, 45 second plank.. which I absolutely hate because it’s painful however I’ve done it for over 2 minutes before so it’s not impossible for me to do it for 45 seconds. I have rest days which is literally heaven to me. I don’t see a difference yet physically but mentally I do. I’m sort of at peace with my body issues. I’m not sure if I’ve ever addressed it but if you didn’t know now you know, I just hated how some parts of my body look.. my arms and legs are basically it. I’m working in it with my workouts.

Whilst that’s out the way, might as well get personal. I posted about bottling things which until late hasn’t been an issue. I get mad at myself when I tell people what’s sort of going on, I don’t ever want sympathy. I hate sympathy, don’t give me sympathy. I’ve tried to be one of those really brick walled people, basically show no emotion and be really strong. When I tell people about stuff like mental stuff, I feel weak and then I get mad at myself for opening up. I don’t know, it’s weird yet makes complete sense to me. I’ve opened up wayyy to much this year already and I’m stopping myself from doing that.          

Another thing is, which I’m never said at all before, is that I kind of like someone… before all you and make your predictions.. don’t. Don’t say who you think it is, or ask me if it’s right. Wow, I’m defensive today😂  but seriously, just don’t bother. It will really piss me off. So that’s been on my mind for a while. Let’s just go to a different subject. I’m already getting mad at myself for saying that.. do you see what I mean? Any bit of opening up, I get mad at myself. It’s pathetic. I have issues.. but you have them too. Are those the lyrics? I have no idea 😂

Well, I’ve opened up enough. So.. I’m just going to head to the door. Thank you for being here, and reading this crap. Please also don’t leave sympathy. I really don’t need it.

Anonymous blogger, signing out xxx

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Reacting To Spam #1

Hey everyone, now here’s another reacting post which I have no idea if anyone’s done it before so it might be original.
As a blogger I get ALOT of spam, most of it makes zero sense so I thought “It could make a good post” so that’s what I’m going to do now. 

Let’s just start..

WAIT, I KNOW THAT NOT EVERYONE CAN SEE THE POSTS SO I’LL WRITE THEM OUT..sorry about the cap locks.

Written out spam : ” Lordy, some people do over think things, don’t they? I love LADIES…..Of course they are all women (duh) but the term “ladies” has an implied sweet yet saucy quality that pays respect to these stylish mavens.I’m with the majority here….I like ladies, i don’t mind being called a woman, but think “ma’am” is awful.And I think it’s very kind of you to ask sir”

Okay, so they want to inform me that they don’t like being called ‘ma’ma’.. Is it me or is this just fucking weird? I don’t understand spam 😂

Written out spam : ” Thank you for the great critique. Me and my neighbour were just preparing to do some research about this. We got a book from our location library but I feel I’ve learned far more from this post. I am extremely glad to see such wonderful information being shared freely out there…”

Before, I get into what they said. I didn’t know what post this was on, so I went to have a look and it was a post about how I lost my bestfriend. So now let’s get into the comment..                Again, makes no sense..haha. I have no idea what to say about this.. Wait it says “average car insurance rates”… righttt.

Written out spam : ” I think your hair looks REALLY GOOD! I shot you not!!! And I’m not sure if I’m more in love with the beverage pictured or your hubby who made you such a fabulous meal. awwwwww! That is too cool!! Happy Belated Bday. I’m gonna be 37 in 2 months so you’re quite young in my eyes. xo.

I laughed at this 😂 This is bloggers interview and they talk about my hair, my husband and apparently my belated birthday.. what the actual fuck! 😂 I love spam. By the way : He did a fabulous job…

Okay, that enough spam for one day, I’ll do another one if these another time. For now, I’ll leave you all, see you sooooonn.

Anonymous blogger, signing out xxx

Done With It, College and Posts

I had an idea for this post and half way through it, it disappeared and somehow got deleted so scratch that and let’s just talk weird things. My last posts have had some what of a structure to it, I actually HAD a topic to focus on it but now, I’m back to my old ways.

My old ways I like to class as ‘bad’. Bad because I talk nonsense and they just have no meaning to it. Also my constant talking about my mental health in other posts really wasn’t good for it, was it now past A? Surely the best way to stop something is to not talk about it and distract yourself but no, I did the opposite and displayed it to the world. I’m done with talking about it, sure I’ll talk about anxiety but depression I’m done with that.. I just don’t ever want to even mention it from my next post onwards.

On a brighter note, I’m in the course I have been dreaming about. It costs a lot BUT really worth it, the only downside is that I have made zero friends and I literally hang out with NO ONE in college. I feel stupid just walking on my own, but I don’t actually like anyone in my course.. I have friends in other courses that I’d love to hang out with but I’m pretty sure we have different breaks and lunches which just wouldn’t work.. wait, did I say I’d talk about something less sad? Yep, yes I did. I tried.

I don’t really want to bore you anymore, I’m sorry for wasting your time. Maybe go to my other posts for something ‘better’ well better then this.

See you soon.

Anonymous blogger, signing out xxx

Start Of The Month Ramble

Hey, it’s A and welcome back to my blog.
You’ll be happy to know that this post won’t be depressing and you won’t leave contemplating life.. Isn’t that a good thing?

Anyways, its August.. Which means a few things;
1. A long ass month
2. A lot of birthdays
3. The only month I have left before college 😓😭

I will make this month memorable, so I set up a list of what I want to achieve/what I want.
1. I want to get a Morphe palette. They are so raved about and I just want to try it.

2. Get out a little more because I don’t do that quite enough.

3. Decorate my room the way im happy with.

4. Write more posts, because I’ve been lacking recently. And also do a few collabs.

5. And finally, I want to do something way out of my comfort zone. I haven’t decided what yet, but I want to do it in this month.

That’s what I want to do this month, and I’ll update you all in September. Also, if you do want to collab then message me on one of my social medias, ill leave them down below.

Twitter : @lifeas_a
Instagram : @lifeas_ablog

Twitter I am way more active on then my other socials but if you don’t have twitter, I will still see your message.

Anyway, thank you for reading. I’ll see you again soon.

Anonymous blogger,signing out xxx
(P.S – I literally just typed my outro without looking at the keyboard, I have definitely written it a lot)

Healthy Start

So, I’ve been working out.. I know, that’s so unlike me and so out of the ordinary but I was having some health scares that scared me enough I started working out.

I won’t get into the health scares but it was happening for about a week and it really made me want to get my body healthy and strong.
Everyday, I’ve been going for a run and then afterwards I’d workout my arms and legs. As for my eating, haven’t at all started eating healthy because I don’t really know what to eat or where to start.

But working out is going well, I’m not really looking to lose weight because I genuinely don’t think I need it and my weight has been the same for my whole life which I don’t mind.
I do encourage you all to start working out a little a few times a week, it really does improve your health.

Anyways, I’ll see you guys soon.

Anonymous blogger, signing out xxx

Posts I Didn’t Finish

If I didn’t have a boring life these posts would be fun and entertaining but no. I’m right now, sat in bed with cramps. Isn’t that just sooo interesting.

Anyway, hello. I was looking through the notes on my phone, a lot of my notes are posts I started to write but gave up on.
So, without further or do, here’s the posts.

1. Heyyy guys! Welcome back to this thing I call a blog. Im sorry if im too sassy and I dont make sense.. Im hyper. I’ve had an Easter egg today.. And that’s a lot of chocolate that my brain can’t handle.

Okay, that not the reason im making a post I wanted to about friendships and relationships because these two things I actually think about more than I should.

Ill talk about them separately then together.

Relationships

The majority of people have been in relationships, and I have serious respect for people who haven’t yet. I’ve been in a fair few and all except one.

2.
Everything goes fucking wrong. My veins say “XII” which is 13. That just proves I’m bad luck.
So, you’re proberly wondering “What the fuck is the point of this post?”
Well, I thought why not make this the most honest post ever.

I used to like my body, I didn’t think anything was wrong until I noticed my arms. I hate my arms. Then I noticed my legs. I hate them. I hate my fucking body. I don’t like having my arms exposed because I feel ugly and stupid.

I don’t eat enough, and when I do it takes me hours to eat. Eating isn’t something I like really.

3.
Hello. Doesn’t life just scare you sometimes? It scares me.. a lot. Im not sure if this post will be a trigger or not.. I will be talking about death, depression and all the things I think about on a daily basis.

I’m quite a mentally unstable person, I’m not happy all the time.. things trigger and then I got into a state of im so depressed and everyone hates and I should just go and cut and die and everyone would be happy then.. I basically just summed up what I think about when im depressed.

However, there are times when im really happy, when you catch me on my good days.. well done because they are getting rare. This depressing stage has like taken over my life (haha..like..shout out to the person who will know why im laughing at that) anywayyy, negative thoughts rule my life and I wish I could just tell it to get the fuck out my life for good. Its like that ex boyfriend who keeps on coming back or ex girlfriend.. us girls do that too… They treat you like utter crap yet you let them back in because they said they’ve changed… Yeah right, you’re just going to fuck up my life even more… I’m not even talking about anyone in particular 😂 .. You all know what I mean..right?

I do want to talk about relationships more at some point because im totally experienced.. Im really not.. I barely know how to tie my shoes let alone know anything about relationships.. I mean, I’ve had relationships but.. I need to shut up and stop changing subject.

Basically what im trying to say is… My mental health screws up my life.. and my arm.. Yes the self harm. I’m seeing two councillors.. None of them help, its just strategy after strategy.
My other councillor is a bit better than the other one. However he gets way more in depth and im not so comfortable with that, it also doesn’t help that one of them basically said “You’re a pretty girl and having scars on your body won’t..

 

 

I’ll stop there, these post I never finished for one reason or another. I’ll speak to you all another time.

Anonymous blogger, signing out xxx

This I Wrote A While Ago..

He doesn’t believe in himself,
She believes.
He thinks so low.
She thinks so highly of him.
He doesn’t want to live.
She only lives for him.

You see, he may feel like this but,
She didn’t leave.
He may not love himself but she loves him. Its more than love. She adores him. She’s in love.

But he can’t see that, he’s swarmed by such negativity. It takes over his live.
She’s there for him, but there isn’t enough.
“I love you’ doesn’t make him smile anymore.
She sees what it’s doing to him, breaking down.
He distances himself from everything, everyone.
Its hurting. But she hasn’t given up. She can’t. She won’t.

Looking Back

I’m a blogger who doesn’t fit into a category, I’ve been here for 2 years, yet I haven’t really settled down into a particular category.. And I’m okay with that.
I do a variety of things;
Deep chats
Makeup
Fashion
Mental health
I’m not restricted to one thing, and that’s what I love about my blog. It may be negative sometimes but it still shares my most happiest moments. You’ve seen so much; breakups, the start of college, end of school.. And the list goes on.

I’ve been through milestones, I actually remember walking to school ringing one of my friends and being so happy I hit 100 followers. I remember the 1 year post.. The two year post I did in March.

I still remember my first follower, she taught me how to blog basically and I was grateful for that. I remember being so new to this, its been such a long journey that I wouldn’t trade for anything.

I used to check my stats regularly, now I honestly have no clue about how many followers I have. Who checks how many followers they have?

Even though its been two years, I have not once met someone who goes to my college or school that blogs like me. That’s still my goal..

Anyways, thank you for reading. I’ll talk to you guys soon.

Anonymous blogger, signing out xxx

Dear Your Broken Heart

You don’t know who can walk into your life and change it so significantly that it’s unfathomable, that person that walked out of your life did the right thing.

That person can walk out that door without the slightest bit of sadness and that’s honestly great. Sadness is defined an emotional pain, and if leaving caused them none of that then, you shouldn’t feel hurt.

They left without hesitation, and you felt deeply saddened by that. Maybe that person was so special and close to you, maybe that person changed you in ways you felt like you couldn’t do on your own but as I said at the start, people can walk in your life and change it so significantly.

There will always be someone else that unexpectedly walks in your life, that person could become something you cherish more then life itself.
A friendship so remarkable could blossom, or even a relationship that could spark a time you never want to forget.
It’s takes time to heal from a wound, and even more for a broken heart.

Anonymous blogger, signing out xxx

No Title

Lately, I’ve come to realise that I’m not good enough, for anything at all. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking “Stop asking for attention A”.
I’m sure a lot of you, if not all of you think that. Maybe my posts are just boring you because its the same thing over and over again, maybe you’re only here when I’m happy because me being like is making you unhappy.

With that being said, me being depressed the majority of the time is causing my friendships with people to weaken and some to even crumble apart. I don’t know what to do about that, sometimes I think that disconnecting myself with everyone will make all my problems go away. I’ll slowly fade out of everyone’s life and then eventually be forgotten and I’ll be on my own.
Being on my own will make me less stressed on whether everyone likes me or not. I won’t have to constantly be happy to keep a friendship strong, and that then reducing the chances of them leaving.

Its not healthy to think this, nor do I really have anyone to talk to this about so that’s why I post it on my blog.

I just don’t feel okay.

Anonymous blogger, signing out xxx