It’s pretty late..well it’s nearly 11pm, and I am bored out of my mind so it seemed like a perfect opportunity to write a post. I don’t have a main topic to focus on but a few that I’d like to just talk briefly (probably not).
Right now, I’m the only one that’s up. Both my sisters are asleep, my 15 year old sister hasn’t exactly been sleeping that well so I’m not surprised she’s asleep early.. and my 7 year old sister normally sleeps around this time.
So, life is slightly weird right now. I have so much on my plate right now, except I’m kind of procrastinating it off my plate. But then I remember it will have to be sorted at some point and I can’t leave it there. I’m mainly talking about college.. the assignments are killing me. Also my workout is killing me, my friendships are dying. So everything is dead to me right now.
I’m just very conflicted on things, I don’t feel like everything is happy and full of rainbows and unicorns. I feel like everything is grey, dull and couldn’t be more of a shit pit. I again, hate complaining but I started my blog complaining so ill continue to do it.
One thing I do want to talk about is actually friends. It’s weird right now. I never get to see my best friend anymore because she’s working her ass off everyday and when she does get home, she’s so exhausted. She still messages me everyday and what so I do, show literally no interest in the conversation which can’t make her feel exactly great. I don’t know, I want to see her more but with her working everyday, it’s hard. With college though, I did find a small group of friends but I have VERY little faith that will last because it’s happened before. I’d be friends with someone for a day, it’s going great we’re all laughing and then the next day, I’m back to the beginning. Friends are just weird right now, I don’t talk to much of anyone anymore which I’m not complaining about.. wait yes I am.
I got this though, on a good note. I’m confident. My workout routine has very much increased my self esteem and confidence which is really great. I have been working out intensely for about 2 weeks which is a achievement for me, I kind of hate it though. The sit ups are killing my back, and the plank is slowly tearing away my limbs.
I don’t regret working out and I will for sure keep it up, it’s just killing me. Imagine having a long day at work, college or school and then doing a workout straight after.. literally sounds like something you’d never want to do right? Once you start and you’ve gotten so far, you have to proceed. I ain’t a quitter.. I might want to but I won’t.
Anyways, I’m going to go. I’m starting to lose the will to live.. I’m actually just starting to get tired. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Anonymous blogger, signing out xxx